Friday, September 30, 2011

Reader Submissions 5

What makes you think that being 17 minutes late is acceptable?  Yes you are my last client of the evening, but you are delaying my trip home by 17 minutes and I have a 40 minute drive home.  You are new to our salon.  This is NOT acceptable.

Dear Obsessive Boyfriend:  If you wanted your girl to have a style/color of nails that you saw at another salon, why didn't you book her an appointment with that salon?  Also, why are you telling this grown woman how to have her nails done?

Dear Submissive Girlfriend:  Don't you have a brain to think for yourself?  Can't you make your own decisions?  Why are you letting a bully tell you what to do on your nails.  If he is this obsessive with your nails I can't imagine how he is with the more important things in life.  Are you sure you want to marry this guy?

Seriously, if you call a salon and expect to get an appointment, the same day and at the exact time you want (usually 5:00), don't you just wonder WHY that appointment is available?  Any good nail tech will be booked that time and if they did get a cancellation, it is usually scooped up immediately.  Is your procrastination really worth going to someone who isn't busy for obvious reasons?  I pity your nails.

So, you have been planning this wedding for how long?  You've had your dress for how long?  The hall?  The cake?  The flowers?  Your hair appointment?  You just figured you would call two days before your wedding and get an appointment for you and your seven bridesmaids????!?  You, my dear, are on crack.

I love this blog.  I actually keep a little notepad now and write down all the things I really wanted to say in the salon, all day long.  This is so helpful and it is nice to see that others experience the same things!  Thanks Nancy!!!  You rock!

If your kids put paper towels in the toilet again, you are plunging it.

Seriously????  It takes you ten nails, two coats to finally realize you don't like the color?  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

It's just nail polish.  There's no crying over nails, people!

You've been sitting there for 15 minutes, I've asked you three times if you have looked to see what color you want.  Why is it now 10 minutes into your appointment, 25 minutes since you've walked in the door and you still can't decide what you want????

It's one nail appointment.  Is it necessary for mom, grandma, three brothers and a BFF to come with you?  We don't have room for all of these people!

For the love of God!!!  Put your cell phone down!  Also, I love the fact that there is pocket lint all over your gel nails from you digging into your pocket to get that damn phone.

I am sorry you had to go three weeks between fills due to your schedule.  I don't appreciate you trying to "Help" my by filing the regrowth area.  You now have rings of fire that I DID NOT DO!  OMG!!!  I just want  to slap you right now!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

About to Throw in the Towel - Reader Submission

Dear Nancy,

Thank you for writing your last post about why some of us become salon owners.  I wanted to write this, because I don’t have the courage to say it outloud or to anyone who knows me.  Today, for the first time, I considered closing my salon.

I am tired of the constant complaining from the people who work for me.  I think I provide them with a nice place to work.  I don’t ask for much, just that they show up on time, do a good job and clean their area.  I do everything else.  It is so unappreciated.

All they do is complain amongst themselves about stupid likes, some, what you mentioned.

One says she doesn’t want any new clients put in her book but then complains if she has gaps in her schedule.  On complains about the temperature and the music.  Another complains about the smell.  I tell you, I totally could have written your last blog post.  It really hit close to home.

What they don’t realize is that this constant complaining is really bringing me down.  I am tired of hearing it.  I just really don’t know what more these women want from me.

I am actually considering closing my very busy salon.  Truthfully, I would make more working for someone else and I could come, do my job and leave.  I wouldn’t have to keep up with inventory, order supplies, pay all the bills, fix all the things that they break, search for new products/techniques, market the business.  I could just do my job and go home.

I’ve obviously been successful with my duties.  The salon is booming, yet, these girls complain.  They are making good money, yet they complain.  Complain, complain, complain.

I hate to say it, but they have sucked the ever, living life out of me.  I seriously could walk away tomorrow with no regrets and most importantly, no debt.  I wonder what they would do if I did.  They have no idea how good they have it.

Thanks for letting me vent without a name/face.  I love this blog.  Keep up the great work.

Signed – About to Throw in the Towel

Monday, September 26, 2011

Why Some Become Salon Owners

Why do some techs become Salon Owners?  Quite simply, control.  We have control over every aspect of our business.  Most of us have worked in other situations, most of them not good.  We wanted to do things better or the right way and this was the only way to do it.  On our own.

We’ve had to deal with bounced paychecks, old, expired product, no supplies, filthy salons, no sanitation or disinfection, cheap supplies bought at Sally’s and on and on.  We got tired of it, were embarrassed by it and we decided to move out on our own for a better life.

Now we have other techs working for us.  Those of us who like control, go with employees as opposed to booth renting.  With booth renting, you lose all control again, yes it is your salon, but they can do whatever they want in your salon.  So employees it is.  These employees bitch about things that really are trivial when you compare them to what we have experienced in our careers, experiences which pushed us into salon ownership.  Here are just a few of those trivial things….

The temperature.  You complain that it is cold.  Well, if you didn’t show up to work wearing only your lingerie there wouldn’t be a problem.  Sixty-Eight degrees is not cold, it is actually a great temperature for the products that we use to work optimally.  Put some clothes on if you are cold!

The music.  I don’t want to listen to gangsta rap and neither do most clients.  We have to have music that appeals to ALL, now just a few.  We have all ages, all types of people patronize our salon.  This is why we listen to a satellite station that plays a VARIETY of music.  Have you ever noticed how many people ask what station it is because they enjoy it?

The smell.  It’s a nail salon.  It will smell.  However, if you would follow the procedures set in place, the smells could be lessened.  Dumping monomer into your trash can isn’t helping.  There is no need to waste all that monomer.  Unless it is dirty there is no need to dump it out.  Only put out what you need to begin with!  Keep your acetone pumpers closed!  Empty your trash to the outside.  Seriously, it isn’t hard to keep the smells down.  Instead of complaining, figure out a solution.

The schedule.  You are in charge of your own schedule.  If it is not full enough, who’s fault is that?  Are you working or are you adding hours at the last minute.  People book one to two weeks ahead, if your hours aren’t available then, you don’t get booked.  Is it too full?  Who’s fault is that?  You booked the appointments.  Why can’t you be happy?

Seriously?  That’s what you have to bitch about?  Try going to the bank and your paycheck isn’t good.  Try coming into work and your station is all slopped up and products are missing from it and you have to go on a grand search looking for your acrylic brush. YOUR BRUSH.  Try doing a pedicure and the room is filthy with toenails and foot skin all over the floor for the client to see. 

You really don’t have it too bad.  Actually, I would have loved to have had it as good as you BEFORE I was a salon owner.

--Nancy

Friday, September 23, 2011

Reader Submissions 4

I would like to tell my roommate that her station is a pig's stye.  You are too lazy to move the things on your station to clean it and you just wipe the open areas.  People can see the filth on the sides.  People can see the sticky, dirty fingerprints on the sides of your UV light.  I can't understand how they aren't skeeved to put their hands in that light, I mean how hard is it to wipe the bottom each day, if not after every client.  How do you keep clients?

If you use the last of something, please let someone know so that it can be replaced.  It isn't going to appear like magic!

When taking a phone message, if the person gives you important information like what type of appointment they want or what day or time of day they need, WRITE IT DOWN, don't just give me a paper with the name and number on it.  I seem like an idiot when I call them back unprepared!

Everyone needs to quit bitching about Facebook!  How dare they change anything for the better on your when you are paying a whopping $0 for the service they provide!

I don't understand how some people complain about getting a cancellation and then when you fill that spot for them, then they complain that you did.  Are you working or aren't you????  Make up your mind!

You know, if you do a half assed job this week, you will have a hard week in two weeks.  Just suck it up and do a good job all of the time.

I am sorry, I don't have time to do repairs on your clients.  You need to step it up and do a better job and actually come to work so that if your client needs repairs, you can fix them.  If I am fixing them, I am charging them.

Talking on your cell phone or texting while you service a client is RUDE.  You don't like it when client's do it, so don't do it to them.  Nothing is so important than it can't wait until between clients.  These are not emergency texts or calls.

I don't want to hear about your sex life, your bodily functions, your political views or your religious views.  Please keep all of the above to yourself.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Thieves

In this industry we deal with all kinds of thieves.  It depends on the level that you are in your career, which determines what level of thieves you experience.
If you are a salon owner, you probably experience the most common thief.  Every salon has good employees and every salon has a thief.  Every. Single. Salon.  Sometimes the thieves are found out and fired, other times, the thievery isn’t found out until the thief leaves.

Techs steal product all of the time.  A busy salon owner will pull their hair out when they go to the really large jug of monomer that they just got a week ago and there are a few drops left in the jug.  “But we have been really busy”, the staff will explain.  Not THAT busy!  That’s a lot of monomer to use in a week.

Brushes that are supplied to staff members will be missing when the tech isn’t at work, along with other products.  They are obviously doing nails on their off days, most likely their own, more than likely others, being paid on the sly.  Most salons allow you to do your own nails in the salon for no charge and family members for a small supply fee.  There is no reason to take salon supplies home with you unless you are stealing them.  It is never a good idea to travel back and forth with supplies, if you live in a warm climate, you can really mess up the quality of the product if you allow them in a hot car for a period of time.  So, even if the thief didn’t steal these products, most likely they will be ruined and will cost the salon money in the end anyways. 

Techs within the salon will try to steal other techs clients.  You see it all of the time, another tech goes on vacation or is sick and the shady tech will try to make the other tech look bad and try to get the client to rebook with her instead.

All of these examples above, are written from a Salon Owner’s point of view.  There are a number of instances that a Salon Owner has stolen from their staff.  If this has happened to you, I would love for you to write to me and share your experiences, anonymously, of course.

Moving on, you have techs that use photos of other technician’s work that they have found on the Internet and use them as examples of their work.  They use those photos in ads for their business.  How flipping lazy or untalented are you that you can’t use a photo of your own work?  I can understand using a company photo with the brand of the product that you use, that’s what they are provided for, and everyone knows you did not do the nails.   I can’t tell you how many shady people I have seen over the years use OBVIOUS photos of work that they didn’t do.  What happens when someone sees one of those photos and asks them to recreate the nails.  I would LOVE to see a photo of THOSE nails!

My favorite kind of thief is the one that steals all of your ideas.  One that has a salon and tries so hard to be exactly like your salon.  Right now I know of at least six Salon Owners going through this.  Yes, the idea thief may have worked in your salon at one time and learned a lot from you and your salon.  Instead of coming up with their own style or signature, so to say, they just copy what you do.  The joke is on them, though, because people see this and realize this.  How sad to be so unimaginative that you have to use Other People’s Ideas to better yourself or your business.  (How many people just got that?  Gold star if you do!)

It’s time for the thievery to stop.  Stop stealing from your Salon Owner.  Stop stealing from your Staff.  Stop stealing from each other.  Theft is still a crime and it is just plain wrong and it makes you nothing more than a See You Next Tuesday (Platinum star if you get that one!)

--Nancy

Friday, September 16, 2011

Reader Submissions 3

I would like my co-worker to know that it is incredibly rude to not pitch in while the owner is out of town.  Why should the rest of us do all the cleaning and you get to waltz out the door after doing nothing?

Dear salon down the street, you need a new nail design because all 10 of your clients are walking around with the same crap on their nails.

If you are going to be 10 minutes late, please don't spend the next 10 minutes standing outside yakking on your cell phone.  You are now 20 minutes late!

Hey salon owner, a little appreciation or a Thank You once in awile would be nice! 

I would like to let the neighboring salon know that they need some instruction because when THEIR clients walk in OUR door, their nails are a quarter inch thick and colored acrylic and glitter is on the nail bed.  It is impossible to remove since you have to file clear to the nail.  A light layer of clear will make things so much easier.  We would be willing to give you a class but I am sure you would never consider that offer.  What a shame.

To the people who hop from salon to salon:  Why do you think your nails are always trash?  You are mixing product, with product, MMA with legal.  How about you pick a salon and stick with them?

I am sorry that we don't have an opening.  We asked you to schedule when you were in two weeks ago and you declined.  What do you expect us to do, kick someone out of their spot so you can have it?  I don't think so......

Dear Client, please do not test all the ring tones in your phone while you are getting a pedicure.  It is very annoying to eveyone else in the salon and it's RUDE!

When you leave us a voicemail, please give us your name, and number.  We aren't psychic and know who you are or how to call you!

Your nails will never be better than what God gave you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Retired People

Nail Techs all of the time, complain about teenagers or young clients in their twenties.  They complain that they are flakey, miss appointments, late cancel or no show.  I say give me a gaggle of 20 somethings, just take those retired people for me instead.

Retired clients have to be the most needy, annoying clients of all.  I know you know what I am talking about.  They have ALL DAY free, yet they insist that they have an after 5:00 appointment.  I mean really, you can’t come earlier so that someone who is busting their ass all day at work can have that after 5 spot?

So, you give them their precious evening spot and they insist that they want a standing, despite the fact that each and every appointment week, they call to change the appointment.  No matter what time you give them or what day, it is never good.  They want another time slot that is just not available.  They finally settle on a slot that isn’t their original slot and not the slot that they want.  Two weeks go by and the vicious cycle starts all over again.

Come on, YOU ARE RETIRED!  You don’t work!  Your agenda is free!  I should start an Early Bird Special where they get $5 off if they come before 4:00 bet that would make things different………

--Nancy

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Industry Bullies

Yes, people are bullies, but so are manufacturers in the nail industry.  Last week, I came across a post that said that if you were already listed on CND’s site as a salon that performs Shellac services, you may have to re-register your salon.  Well, after a quick search of their new Mobile Application, I quickly found out that my salon is no longer listed, despite the fact that “I”, the owner, am a Grand Master and we DO provide Shellac services.

So, I went through the procedure to get our salon added once again.  All was fine until I came to this little beauty, and then my head about exploded.

Way to go CND.  Way to be the biggest industry bully.  You want us to ONLY use your light.  Come on, as someone who has been using your product for sixteen months, SUCCESSFULLY, with a good-old 36 watt (4 – 9 watt bulbs) tunnel lamp, I have to laugh at your audacity.  YOU expect us to purchase your light for $150 in order to receive referrals?  I have five stations in my salon, there is no way in hell that I am shelling out $750 for lights, when the five that we already have that we paid $70 each for work fine.  Do the math, $350 or $750.  Any smart business owner can see the writing on the wall.

Next, you want us to ONLY use your base and top coat, well, what if we have found that using someone else’s top coat gives a much better end result?  Also, your base and top coats cost the same price as other companies, but those other companies bottles are TWICE THE SIZE.  Again, any smart business owner can see there is no value in using your base and top coats and that over priced plastic thing you call a UV light.

Next, you want us to say that we don’t mix products.  Again, what audacity you have to tell us what we can use and how we can use it.

Now here’s another one that really made my head pop.  You want us to say that we do not file the nail surface during application.  ANY manicure service includes a light buffing to smooth the nail and give a perfect surface for either traditional polish or soak off gell – Oh, that’s right EXCUSE ME, your product is a HYBRID.  Whatever.  Way to scare the public into thinking that a light buffing of the nail surface is wrong.  YES there are those who are heavy handed and do this step wrong and can cause damage, but we are not ALL idiots.  Some of us are trained and take our jobs seriously.  To have us say that we won’t do this is an INSULT!  Our job is to preserve the natural nail, not destroy it.  Any professional that doesn’t understand this should just quit right now.

Finally, you have us say that we do not soak nails in a bowl of acetone to remove Shellac.  Any tech with an ounce of intelligence will not soak.  First, it is not necessary, second it is a waste of acetone and third it really increases the odors in your salon.  Cotton balls soaked in acetone, applied to a nail and then wrapped in foil is all that you need.  I am really surprised, CND, that you didn’t make us say that we only use your stupid little diaper-looking thingies to remove product.  That seems to be your thing, CND, demanding that we only use CND things.

So, I have decided that I am not re-registering our salon.  Hell, I may request to have my name taken off of your Grand Masters list as well.  I really don’t even like Shellac, I just liked it for French because your white was the easiest to apply with a good result.  As of right now, two of your competitors have whites in a bottle that are doing a pretty good job and again, I get twice the amount for my money.  I will not be purchasing any more Shellac.

Now, CND, I realize that you have spent millions on your advertising campaign.  I realize that you are trying to make that money back.  I wonder how many people are going to blatantly LIE on that form, trust me, I considered it, but I guess I have a little more integrity than that.  You will NOT recoup your advertising dollars from me, CND.

So, is the CND police going to be out in full force?  Will they be visiting every salon that is listed to make sure they are complying to your ridiculous stipulations?  Hell, we can’t even get State Board to come in and inspect for MMA and credo blades, maybe we can have you strike a deal with all of the state boards and you can kill two birds with one stone.

I, for one, am done.  I will not be told to use an over priced light.  I will not be told that I have to use your over priced base and top coats.  I will not be bullied.  Period.

-- Nancy

Friday, September 9, 2011

Reader Submissions 2

You can't be a salon owner and only work two days a week, two hours a day.  That's four clients a week and you say you are fully booked?  Give me a break!  You aren't fully booked, you are LAZY!

Dear Industry Know It Alls:  Stop telling me what I need to do to be successful, I am making my own success.  I don't care that you won competitions and practice every day.  I have a life besides work.  I don't want to enter them and just because I don't doesn't mean you are better than I am.

Dear OCD client, please do not inspect your nails until I am completely finished with them. When I am working on one hand, I can see you holding up the other to within 2 cm of your nose out of my peripheral vision. You twist and turn it back and forth until I want to throw my file at you. STOP IT !!

Dear client, please stop anticipating where I’m going next. I don’t need you to turn your finger for me, I can do that all by myself. I know you’re really trying to be helpful and all, but just relax and let me do my job. 

Dear client, no, I don’t cut healthy cuticles, period. Really? Yes, REALLY. I’m not going to back down and cave in, so you can get your ass out of my chair right now and stop wasting my time. Stop acting like this is a life or death matter. They are just cuticles. They won’t grow fangs and bite you. 

Dear new client, you’ve been on my website so you know my salon is in my home. Please do not show up unannounced in the hopes that I’m working on some client so you can ‘see’ what I do. Why would my client want some stranger gawking at her nails? Why do you think I’m going to stop what I’m doing and just answer the door and bring you in? 

Dear new client, you’ve been on my website so you know you need to make alternate arrangements for child care. Why then do you arrive with your child, 40 minutes early for your appointment? And why do you not have anything with you to keep your child occupied? More importantly, why didn’t I boot your ass out the door?

Dear Facebook nail tech, why do you post pictures of other people’s work on your page? I know you’re not claiming it as your own, but your potential clients will think you did it, or even better, that you can do it EXACTLY like the picture. Ha ha, joke’s on you. 

Dear Facebook nail tech, it’s OK if you see a set of nails one of your friends posted, get some inspiration from it and try to copy it for your client. That is hugely flattering. But please, make an effort to at least tag that person or let them know they’ve inspired you. Don’t just post the picture of the nails without any mention of it. We’ve all seen the original set and we know you copied it. 

Dear Facebook nail tech, if someone posts on my wall asking me a specific question about a product I SELL or EDUCATE for, please do not come along and post how wonderful the products are that YOU SELL or EDUCATE with! That is beyond rude and I just want to smack your ass.

Dear Facebook nail tech, it’s OK if you inbox me privately to ask me about a specific technique or product. But when I take the time to provide you with the information you’re looking for, a simple ‘thank you’ would be nice. 

Trust me, it won't hurt my feelings at all if you go to another tech.  I literally have to rev myself up for your appointments because you utterly suck the life out of me.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Striking a Nerve - The Truth Hurts

So, it looks like our last post struck a nerve with a few people.  I guess the truth does hurt when you read it.  The difference is, what do you do with it.  Do you get mad and lash out?  Do you try to get even?  Or, do you take a good, hard look in the mirror and try to learn from it?

Looks to me as though those who are offended will not learn from it.  We get comments like "who is the miserable bish who started this blog anyway?" and passive aggressive postings on Facebook.  This is the perfect example of WHY this blog is written and contributed to anonymously.  We even let you comment anonymously.

I have been around the block in the past 18 years.  I have seen a lot and I have spoken up a few times too.  When I did, I was scolded and ridiculed.  I've been told a few times that "I will never work in this industry "I" will make sure of it" just because I called someone out on their bullshit.  This happens every day.  These too big for their britches people will try to black ball you from the industry.  I have seen it happen over and over.  Some of these top guns are the biggest bullies there are.

So, this is why this blog is here.  It's a way for you to say what you want with no fear of people trying to black ball you from the industry.  It's a way to tell your client they are acting like a jackass without them taking offense that you are telling them that, they can read it and see that they are being a jackass.  It's a way to tell your salon owner that she is being unfair.  It's a way to tell your staff that they need to shape up without having them take offense and all walk out on you at once.  This blog is all about making peopler THINK about their actions.  It's about making our lives a better place.

By holding all of our frustrations in, we are not moving forward.  We are not progressing.  Some of these things NEED to be said.  These things NEED to be read.  We NEED a place to say these things without the fear of being blackballed, ridiculed, singled out or bullied.

So, I repeat, if anything in this blog offends you.......please march back the hallway, go into the bathroom and look in the mirror.  Does the truth hurt you?  If it does, what are you going to do about it?

Monday, September 5, 2011

The ClusterF#*K Called Competing

I’ve competed a total of two times in my career.  You always hear that it is such a great experience, that you will learn so much and get so much out of it and it will make you a better tech.  While that may be true, it is not the most awesome experience I have ever had in my life.  Actually, it ranks as one of the most frustrating to date.
You have people who check you in who are rude and bark orders at you at 7:00 in the morning.  Never mind that you are new, have no idea what you are doing.  Yes, the rules were read, yes, the competition class was attended the day before, yet you still don’t know all of the procedures.  Some simple guidance would be appreciated instead of being barked at.

Next, you have the people attending and competing with a supposed language barrier.  I say supposed because I feel some of these people use this as an excuse.  I sat and witnessed one girl, be told over and over that she was not allowed to touch her model.  Yet she continued to do it when no one was looking.  She did this for all three competitions during that two day time period.  At what point, should these people running the competition disqualify her?  I heard a veteran competitor complain and say that she was warned three times and should be asked to leave.  The floor girl just shrugged her shoulders and the rule breaker kept breaking the rules.

I have heard through the years about the rampant cheating that goes on.  I didn’t witness any, but then again, I am new, I wouldn’t know how they cheat.  I didn’t see anyone getting busted for cheating, but then again, no one was really watching things too close.  I know that there were things that I asked about and was told I couldn’t do, yet others were doing it.  When I questioned someone later, I was told it was a miscommunication.

Here’s the worst part, you pay $85 per competition and unless you are one of the top ten, you don’t get a score sheet.  So, no critique for you.  How are you to get better without a critique?  They say that judges will be around later to critique, but I never found one to do it for me.  They say that this type of judging makes it go faster.  REALLY?  It took hours for the judging to be done.  I am kind of happy I didn’t make the top ten or my model would have been sitting in a chair all day long.  No exaggeration.

I think the thing that bothered me the most was reading on Facebook, one of the judges saying something like (totally paraphrasing here) “So proud of my girls today, it was such an honor to hand them their trophies”.  Now this sure sounds like favoritism.  I’m not saying that this happened, but if you put something out there like that for the entire Internet to read, it’s going to make people wonder.

After that first time, I thought what the heck; I will try it again next year.  I thought maybe if I did some research over the next year it would help me.  I also thought maybe the running of the competition was a fluke that last year.  Well, I was wrong.  Nothing changed.  Well, that is not necessarily true, I did make the top ten in two competitions this time, but for the most part, things were the same.

I actually saw an almost knock-down, drag-out figh,t due to one of the judges, being accused by a veteran competitor of letting someone from the company that they own win.  It was crazy.  I realized then and there that nepotism is rampant in the competition arena.  There really isn’t a fair shake given to the no names.

It’s sad that there is so much politics in competitions.  Why can’t we just have a fair and square way to come, have our work judged, critiqued and become better professionals?  That is what is currently being promised, yet that is NOT what is being delivered. 

Signed - Been There, Done That and Moved On

Friday, September 2, 2011

Reader Submissions

Co-Worker:  It is obvious that you say things just to get a rise out of me and others.  We are on to you.  Stop it.  It’s annoying.
I love when I have to make an emergency supply run because someone was so inconsiderate to use the last of something and not tell anyone.

Quit using my stuff when I am not at the salon.

I am sorry that you had to go shopping and couldn’t make your appointment.  I am sorry I couldn’t fit you in until your next appointment in two weeks.  I am sorry that going four weeks doesn’t work for you.  I am sorry but that is a FULL SET not a fill.  Pay up.

If you call or text me on my day off one more time, so help me, I will return your call or text on Sunday morning at 4 am when I am coming home from the binger that you have forced me on.

Dear OPI, I am sick of your polish getting thick after two uses.  I am tired of flushing my hard earned money away buying your crap, but thanks to your millions in advertising, this is what the client wants.  Please improve your product.

Hey you, Facebook Toot My Own Horn Every Day Person.  You are not that great.  You are not that fabulous.  I am blocking you.

Why yes, it is really easy working on your nails while you eat a bag of chips.  Why would you think otherwise?

Is it really necessary to check your text messages or your FB feed every two seconds while I am trying to do your nails?  I hope your phone melts to your fingers, then you will always have your phone “handy”

Is it really necessary to reschedule one appointment seven times?  Are you really that busy?  Maybe you need to patronize one of those walk in salons from now on.

Your nail just popped off?  On it’s own?  With no help?  It just grew wings or just spontaneously combusted off of your nail bed?  Why do I see teeth marks?

Okay so Thursday at  1, 3 , 5 or 7 won’t work, Friday at 5 won’t work, Saturday at 2 won’t work.  When exactly WILL work for you?  Oh Monday???  When we are closed?  Sure, let me get right on that. 

To the client, who went to another tech, then bragged all over Facebook so I would see, I am so happy to see you a year later, in my chair, after you crawled back with your tail between your legs.

Dear Men:  Quit bitching about your wife getting her nails done, you spend more on beer and hunting supplies.

Please keep your Gay Man Drama Queen drama away from me.  It's getting old.